Up On My Soapbox
by sadistw
Summary: Erika decides to share her Yaoi wisdom, things go well until she's asked a question she can't answer. Rated M to be safe, let me know if I should change it.


"Welcome one and all! If you're here then you're among the luckiest people on earth because Erika sensei has decided to share her Large well of knowledge with YOU!" Walker started clapping, motivating the rest of the crowd to clap as well. Erika bowed dramatically, "Thank you, now then," She waved an outspread hand around a sign that read 'ASK ME ANYTHING! Get your BL questions answered -4/7/-' "Lets get this started, my first question please." A man with short dull red hair raised his hand.

"Yes, you sir!"

"What the hell am I doing here?"

"Getting on my nerves, next." The man muttered something Erika could hear.

"Erika sensei, what's the difference between BL and yaoi?" A short blonde woman asked.

"Ah, you must be new to this way of life, you see, BL focuses on the relationship aspect while yaoi is slightly more sexual. That's not to say there is no love in yaoi, there's just more sex than there is in BL."

"Thank you sensei,"

"No problem little miss. yes, moe maid girl!" A girl with large brown eyes and long brown hair cheered.

"Is trap Yaoi still considered Yaoi? I mean, I know they're still guys but them looking like women kinda turns me off." She dusted her frilly dress, blushing faintly.

Erika shook her head "Of course it's still yaoi. feminine of not, if he has a dick, he's not a chick. Say it with me people!"

"IF HE HAS A DICK, HE'S NOT A CHICK!" She nodded, proud of her followers.

"Now, miss maid, I'm not sure if you noticed but most of our beloved boys are in fact very feminine, and if they aren't we make them that way in fanart." Erika pulled out a picture of a sparkly blond man with blue eyes, he was adorable, the crowd awwd. "You see? This is none other than Alex Louis Armstrong from FMA!" The crowd gasped. "Less bone crushing and more cute! Now everyone has their own taste, so two bulky men getting it one will do the trick for some, but the majority of us fangirls, and boys, want slim and adorable. We want feminine!" The crowd cheered and Erika bathed in the praise before motioning for them to be quite. "So the point is, you not liking trap Yaoi is your own issue, it doesn't make it any less nummy!"

The crowd cheered and chanted 'if he has a dick, he's not a chick'. The maid girl felt like her question hadn't been properly answered but felt too embarrassed to say anything else.

"Ok, who's next?"

A woman with long light brow hair pushed her way to the front, she too was dressed sort of like a maid but without all the lace. So more like an ACTUAL maid.

"I have a question, how does a relationship between two tsundere work?"

Erika glared for a moment, miffed at how the woman had the nerve to speak without permission, but answered anyway. "That's simple, they just..." Or at least tried to answer.

A relationship between tsundere... If they were both acting like they hate each other they wouldn't get anywhere, right? But there had to be one somewhere. Everything that can happen has, so somewhere in the world, or in a fandom, two tsundere were rockin' the go go. Erika had no clue how they would get together though. "I...it..." I don't know. Like HELL she was saying that! She was, IS, Erika sensei! There is no aspect of BL that she didn't know about.

Just who was this girl anyway. Erika studied the green eyed girl. Just some random OC right? What right did she have to embarrass her like this? None. And you know what, no one would miss this chick if she disappeared. Erika's smile was dripping with malice, she'd teach these arthurs to stop sticking their OC's in stories. "Oh miss, wont you come up here, please?"

The young woman walk proudly up onto the little stage. She flipped a long strand of hair over her shoulder and smiled at the cat whistles she received. Erika hit her over the head with the microphone, noticed it hadn't had much of an effect, grabbed the pan she saw sticking out of the girls bag, and swung. The girl fell to the ground still breathing. Erika hit her a few more times before pulling back with a triumphant grin, "And don't come back, you damn OC!"

The crowd, who had been shocked silent during the attack, cheered upon learning that the girl was only an OC. Kadota argued with walker, who was dragging the body away, saying you just can't kill a person, annoying OC or not. Togusa refused to allow the dripping body in his van. No one noticed the dark haired noble looking man cheering at the back.

Erika was now in control of herself, she turned to the audience and pleasantly asked, "Are there any more questions?"

* * *

K dudes, I wrote this for two reasons: I'm curious about the answer to the question and I wanted a reason to kill Hungary, The random 'OC'.  
Just to be clear Hungary is NOT an OC, or at least not mine.


End file.
